The Subtle Workings of Demon Possession
by Sabrina Dawkins
I had a dream approximately eight years ago of Michel Foucault behind me. I think he was tall like the giants. We were in the middle of a classroom, and he was I think holding my hands behind my back so that I couldn’t do anything as I watched a bunch of what appeared to be people, all adults, crawl through the left-side windows of the classroom. Blinds covered the windows, but that was it: There was no glass, only open windows covered by white blinds. So the people easy crawled in, and I couldn’t do anything to stop them.
While in the dream, however, I thought Foucault was protecting me from the strange “people” entering the classroom through the blinds, the pale “people” who crawled through the windows on all fours in droves like flesh-covered desperate demons. I had thought Foucault was my friend and protector, but he was actually the one letting the demons in.
I used to be demon possessed, and for a long time, I didn’t know its origin. But now I think it started when I entered the public school system. But to be honest, my memories only start around age four, and I was four years old when I entered kindergarten. So I can only confidently say that I remember some of the ways in which my indoctrination while attending the school system and college weakened and relaxed some boundaries between me and the demonic entities that would possess me. I must also say that I had a problem with “daydreaming” when I was a child, and my teachers in elementary school would notice it and write it as a criticism on my report cards. So perhaps I was already predisposed to leave the driver’s seat of my car, leaving it open for demons to drive it.
None of my teachers in the public school system taught anything about the Bible or God. I was taught evolution and mathematics. We even recreated a Shakespeare play in one class. We read godless novels and watched godless films in high school. We learned about secular history, biology, chemistry. But the source of life itself was never discussed. It was like my education was only the mechanics, the autopsy of a now dead organism. I studied the dead parts, but I didn’t know who had made the organism alive. I couldn’t ask the creator how the parts worked together while they were alive to operate the organism. So my education never came together as a whole, it remained a hodgepodge of disparate parts, each taught by teachers with different personalities, and nothing tied it all together. That left space for agnosticism and moral relativity because I saw the world as a place where various people had different worldviews, and since no one knew which one was correct, I was free to follow whichever worldview I wanted, or none at all. I was free to choose, and there were so many different choices.
I became enthralled just searching the Internet and the college library for hours, looking for interesting philosophies concerning the meaning of life. That in itself was an adventure for me. One could spend his or her entire life reading books and looking up information on different people’s worldviews, I thought. That in itself would at least be entertaining and occupy the mind.
I came across atheism and New Age ideas in my studies, and both were equally dangerous, in my opinion. Atheism removed my boundaries since there was no meaning or ultimate authority to answer to, and therefore it gave me a huge blind spot when it came to demonic activity in my life. New Age ideas took it a step further and encouraged communication with demons disguised as ascended masters for friendship and guidance. Nothing in my secular grade school or college education warned me about demonic influence through music, books, films, dreams. Looking back on it, many of the assigned readings in high school and college, including the lesbianism in The Color Purple, the amorality in Brave New World, the atheism and nihilism in Black Boy, and the sadomasochism in Michel Foucault’s philosophy revealed demonic influence.
Through New Age philosophies I came to believe that life wasn’t real and it was a dream, we were all one, death wasn’t real. I could do what I wanted because nothing was actually real. There were no permanent consequences to actions. So I floated through life in a cloud, within the delusion that nothing was serious and I would wake up one day and everything would be fine. If you want a willingly deceived people, give them a pleasant fantasy to focus on, one in which they have little to no responsibility and can do whatever they want and incur no consequences.
Therefore, my boundaries were eliminated since there wasn’t an objective morality to follow because morality was just one of many other philosophies. And demons became past-life friends, ascended masters, and the ghosts of dead godless people whom I admired while I too was godless. They would appear in my dreams and give me wrong advice or even show me horrible scenes. They would tempt and mock me. But the mind can be the most powerful tool used against you when you are anti-God. So I believed them to be my friends and the confusing dreams these dream characters gave me to be like puzzle pieces that I had to fit together. My brain just wouldn’t accept that these demons, wearing the form of mostly godless famous people whom I had admired, hated me and wanted to destroy me.
My dreams were entertaining and interesting; they made me feel less lonely in a world that I had basically isolated myself from because I couldn’t relate to most people on any real meaningful level. Who wouldn’t want to communicate with their celebrity idols at night?
I only really started dreaming in December of 2008. Before then, I could probably count on one hand the number of dreams I had had and remembered. On the one hand, when I think back on it, I was being led astray and mocked by demons, but on the other, God was allowing me to see the demonic activity occurring in my life, which I had been completely blind to before and would’ve laughed at had someone told me that I was demon possessed. After I started really dreaming, it took at least three years for me to finally accept the fact that God is real and a lot of my “friends” in dreams were actually demons. Now, God does send his messengers to communicate to people on earth, but until I accepted him as my leader, I had been led by mostly demons who played cruel games on my mind for their own enjoyment and my ruin.
The more I dedicated myself to God, reading his word and following him, the more he revealed to me, and the more his wisdom filled my dreams and replaced the confusing horrors that the demons entertained me with for years.